July 2016 – No, Anthony…Noooooo.

OK…I’ll admit I’ve been hard on you at times in the past. But I’ve tried my darndest to give you a fair shake as a coach. It HASN’T been easy…

We’re 2nd and 5. The Argos have taken an offside penalty and Cato’s in for an injured Glenn. A couple decent plays and it’s paydirt. Right back in the game.

ALL I ASK is that you DON’T drop Cato back in the pocket. You KNOW the line’s been porous (at best) all night. You KNOW the whole league’s book on you is as a conservative, exclusive dropback passing nutjob. All the defensive line has to do is pin their ears back, run straight forward and they’ll find Cato…wrapped up in bow…as if it was the plan all along.

Dude…do you have some deep-seated pathological HATRED of quarterbacks possessing skills you could only DREAM of when you were playing. When you see Cato, are you seeing Damon Allen OR some lifelong adversary you simply need to CRUSH?!?

And do you think Stubler hasn’t done his homework?

So this is the deal. One time offer. You roll Cato out with say Nik Lewis 7 yards down shadowing him and Giguere another 15 deeper. Start with a play action to stutter the rush a fraction…then roll Cato to the right.

YOU DO THIS and I will NEVER again mention your pathetic 3/8 Grey Cup record.

YOU DO THIS and I SWEAR I’ll never mention how unqualified you are to be the coordinator of a Loblaws, let alone a professional football team.

Here we go. I mean it dude. I’ll NEVER malign you again.

AW!!! No, Anthony…Noooooooo.

Obviously I’ve overestimated the gadfly effect I’ve had on this person.

PS. Clock Management. 10 Days…

PPS. A post-game RDS poll for our edification:


I’ve ALWAYS been unimpressed by cloying, human sentimentality. It’s one of my more endearing character traits. So I doubt I’ll be excused for being slightly amused as people struggle with the realization that their childhood hero is an idiot…coaching-wise.

Years prior to Calvillo’s retirement, folks around Alouettes’ fora INSISTED that the future was ALREADY set: AC would eventually lead the team as coach. I was consistently shouted down when I pointed out Calvillo’s character unsuitability for a career in the coaching profession. After all…his BEST friend on the team (Ben Cahoon) once stated that Calvillo MIGHT have spoken to him all of FIVE OR SIX TIMES on the bench during the course of their ENTIRE career together. A GREAT communicator AC was NOT.

It’s a point that Zurkowski went out of his way to make  about coach Calvillo only last week. Is this innuendo…just rumor mongering by disgruntled former teammates as to the potential unsuitability of the man to the coaching profession? Cahoon WAS definitely pissed when Calvillo abandoned him for newer, shinier YAC yard gulping giants.

One could imagine Ben prolonging his career by another 1 or 2 years under another…less “passing record” ambitious quarterback. Adrian McPherson certainly went to Cahoon frequently…in the 1 or 2 chances he got to start.  

However…when I recently blogged that Calvillo had “only just learned how to speak” I was only HALF kidding. By his own admission, it had only recently occurred to AC that he was going to have to voice his opinions in staff meetings etc. Someone PLEASE tell me the point of a coach who’s reluctant to voice his opinions?

Can ANYONE imagine struggling to guess what John Hufnagel might be thinking at ANY given point. Wally Buono? Rick Campbell? Kent Austin? Marc Trestman? The VERY names of these coaches evoke bombastic, extroverted, “honest ’til you wince” personalities. Love him or hate him, THIS is not Anthony Calvillo.

So while EVERYONE struggles with their insipid weltschmerz (look it up)…MAY I make a suggestion? Anthony Calvillo was beloved in this city LARGELY because he helped to make the Montreal Alouettes into a legitimate CFL force. Beasts of the East.THIS is in the past, and should be appropriately treasured as a memory by whoever wishes to do so.

NOW…in 2016…Anthony Calvillo (along with Jim Popp) is an anchor around the neck of this franchise. If we don’t intend on drowning, something MUST change. If we can’t let go of sentimentality, Coach Calvillo will OBLITERATE whatever legacy Quarterback Calvillo has created  in this city…perhaps even the team itself.

I’ve written VOLUMES (literally) on the flawed game Calvillo brought to the Alouettes, and EXACTLY HOW his limited, un-athletic, one-dimensional style was responsible for the Alouettes LOSING 5 of 8 Grey Cup appearances, and how we NEVER would have reached all those Grey Cups but for pathetic knobs like Kevin Glenn in a lopsided Eastern Division…AND how we lost the majority of those Cups.

(WHEW…that was cathartic)

Calvillo took advantage of the situation in the East for the majority of his career…then FAILED spectacularly when facing REAL competition from the West.



Players know it. Opposing teams know it. You can be DAMNED sure opposing DC’s like Rich Stubler KNOW it.

WE had better clue into THIS essential fact before it’s too late.

PPS. I’m not sure I’ll EVER forgive Boris Bede for making me long for the days of ol’ Kicky Smurf…Sean Whyte. If GM Popp doesn’t get a new kicker in camp POST FUCKING HASTE…he should be summarily dismissed…on THOSE grounds alone.


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