“The Alouettes on Monday announced Jim Popp will return as head coach next season, as will other members of the coaching staff — Noel Thorpe on defence, Anthony Calvillo on offence and Kavis Reed on special teams.”
It’s like April Fool’s in November. Only they AIN’T fooling. Just when you thought the misery was OVER for this season. All slates wiped clean. Starting over from square one. An INFINITY of cliches to send us gently into that cleansing and restorative winter hibernation…guess again BUDDY!!!
A truly HORRIBLE team, that this year specialized in RECYCLING those of dubious merit (player and coach alike)…has taken to recycling worn and dubious cliches. So we went into this season praising “continuity” in the coaching ranks. RIGHT. How’d that work out for y’all? It seems that in 2016, “continuity” in the Alouettes lexicon will stand for ANYTHING from an “anti-meritocracy” to out and out NEPOTISM.
Well here’s the thing about continuity : you seek it when your team is REALLY good. THAT way…you STAY good. The 2015 Alouettes were a 6-12 team. SHIT in other words. What happens when a SHIT team goes for continuity? It STAYS shit.
Comment boards RAGE with responses like, “I guess it’s time I became a REDBLACKS fan” and “I’m done as a season ticket holder!” and “La stabilité dans la médiocrité.” The Alouettes’ front office boys are positively BRISTLING with indignation. After all it’s THEIR team. WHO CARES WHAT THE FUCKING FANS WANT?
This COMPLETE incapacity to accept responsibility…this cynical and insulting disregard for the Alouettes fanbase (or CFL fans in general) CANNOT go unanswered. EVEN if that answer means turning OUR attention elsewhere…until and UNLESS this team again MERITS our regard. Or MAYBE we could have a petition. WE the undersigned…
The SIMPLE fact remains, unless we show we care, this team is done…AGAIN. The next few seasons could see the Alouettes become little more than a RETIREMENT HOME for players and coaches alike. A FlimFlam Flophouse for those who neither merit NOR are impassioned by their journey through this wonderful CFL.
Forget about crafting an exciting, SPECTACULAR offence around talented youngsters like Rakeem Cato and Brandon Bridge. Mediocrity is the word of the day. INSTEAD let’s try to sign “washouts” like Ricky Ray and Kevin Glenn. Plan for the future? Build! DREAM? Don’t be a FOOL. We’ve got experience…at HAVING experience.
I DO have a good idea for renaming the Alouettes cheerleaders in the new ERA : The POPP TARTS. Good one, eh boss? THAT should get butts back in the stands! Do CARTWHEELS!!! Maybe we could get Kevin Glenn to parade them around the stadium. You know. The BLAND leading the blonds.
Back to the “retirement home” theme…it’s clear that part of Popp’s return as Head Coach is an attempt to secure Calvillo’s position as offensive coordinator. THEN smooth his “inevitable” ascension to head coach. There’s no doubt MOST head coaching prospects for the 2016 season would have “wigged out” at the injustice of being FORCED to accept rookie coach Calvillo at the position.
I can hear the interview now:
P:”So…how would you run this team?”
A:”Well. For starters we’d have Kevin Glenn back there for stability. Still…it wouldn’t hurt to teach up them kids Cato AND Bridge…start puttin some packages together, only…”
A:”It’s about the offensive coordinator. I’d REALLY like to pick my own guy. You know, someone with a few years coaching experience.”
OF COURSE we should have seen it coming. I feel like such a fool! NO LEGITIMATE CFL COACH WOULD EVER agree to having someone as inexperienced as Calvillo as their offensive coordinator. Jim Popp IS the only POSSIBLE choice for Head Coach.
So NOW we have the inept leading the inept. Until shit gets SO bad one or BOTH have to leave. Just how expensive IS the cost of living on Nun’s Island anyways? If it’s a question of AC paying off his mortgage, MAYBE we can take up a collection? BURN the durned thing at midfield. College dues? New car? Fine, fine…ANYTHING but THIS!!!
There is ONE silver lining, however. Wetenhall has shown that his patience in NOT without limit. The Alouettes owner hired Tom Higgins as Head Coach SPECIFICALLY to avoid having Popp return at the position…going so far as to exclude Popp ENTIRELY from the process. Assuming the Poppvillo Express derails on time (around Week 6, 2016) heads ARE going to roll.
Popp is wielding Calvillo’s fragile and nascent coaching career like a magic shield, imbued with the fandom’s love and devotion. He protects HIS own job so long as he preserves AC’s. But THIS can only work so long as we WIN. If history has taught us ANYTHING…it’s that a *19-28 Head Coach is NOT about to lead us to GLORY. Once next season turns to the usual MUSH, Jim Popp’s NOT going to have anyone ELSE to blame. Let him TRY throwing Anthony Calvillo under the team bus.
It should be interesting when…not “if” he tries.
*I’m sorry, but HC Jim Popp made all the decisions and preparations going into the loss supervised by Thorpe on the sidelines…I’m giving the loss to POPP…official or NO.